hadesbabyboy

artemis and i chose a simple three bedroom house. three, in case athena and athena decide to visit. we transferred everything in a few hours, though it would have taken longer if we hadn't been "cheating." mel's asleep right now. she had a big day, and she has school tomorrow.

i might update again soon. we'll see.

mel's keeping calm, though. bless her. i don't think i could manage doing something that requires a lot of energy. i feel like i could sleep for a thousand years and still not be happy. i almost fell asleep while she was reading her newest book to me. i hate losing believers...

i'm not sure. zeus is talking to arty today. the problem is, her new little worshipers are giving her power. she might get cocky and not listen.

i want my goddess back. i don't like what she's becoming.

some punk took a picture of artemis, and fan art of her true form has already hit the web. like this picture:
damn it, she's supposed to be my starlight. now her picture is all over the damn news. i'm not okay with this. not at all. i don't want to share her. is that so hard to understand? i don't want to lose her. like hebe...

damn it.

i can't stand it! i just can't fucking stand it. i finally can walk around, and she takes off. mel tells her she's afraid of the dark, and she doesn't stick around. i won't let her abandon everything we have just because we're slowly losing the power we're used to. it isn't right, it isn't proper, and it isn't going to fly with me.

i'm in mel's room right now. she fell asleep a few hours ago, but i couldn't leave her. she still cries at night, and i want to be here to comfort her. she's sleeping on top of her giraffe, one arm looped around its neck, breathing softly. i can't help but feel the need to protect her.

i know i need to be fair. arty stayed with mel at night while i was stuck in bed. i don't want to be fair, though. damn it, i want to yell at her, tell her how fucking pointless trying is. if the mortals are going to turn to us, they will do it by their own damn selves! shit, if she isn't careful, she's going to get herself hurt, maybe even killed. hebe was killed yesterday. damn, hebe...

poor girl...

do i want to feel the strength i used to when the world seemed to be nothing but city-states? when athens and sparta seemed to be the center of the world? 

yes.

but it isn't going to happen. we can die now. not by disease or age, but by mortal hands. and if artemis doesn't fucking realize that, we all might be in danger. she needs to stop all of this damn nonsense.

fuck...i understand that she feels helpless. we all do. but damn it, battling the inevitable isn't going to help.

mel has decided that we're going to the library every monday. i don't mind. the librarian adores her, anyway, and she's so happy there. it's an outing that artemis approves of, as well, which helps.

i still can't talk her out of trying to revive belief in us. oh, well. she'll run out of steam eventually.

i'm feeling better now. the pain is gone, and I'm nearly at my normal energy level. hopefully, i can take mel out for some fun tomorrow.

artemis isn't happy with me at the moment, but mel fell asleep the moment we got home. i bought her the largest giraffe they had in the gift store. if you can get it to stand, it's as tall as i am (in this form). she managed to snuggle down with it in her bed, which basically means she's sleeping on top of it.

i'll have to talk to arty about all of this when she wakes up. mel is supposed to go to a workshop tomorrow at noon...arts and crafts. it may have to wait until she's been dropped off...

arty's asleep. i think athena's crying. i don't know why, though. i should probably check in on her...

it made me smile as i was making breakfast. i'm tired, still not sleeping well, but i'm pretty happy. i'm going to take her to a zoo today.

i just need to figure out where the nearest zoo is.

she told me that she wants to erase everything that had to do with her mother. the heartache, the pain...but in order to do that, she had to tell me everything.

why didn't she confide in arty? arty's still with ashley. mel understands why, though. she calls arty a "helper."

anyway, she decided this this morning. i was already up because of my stupid sleeping problems...the little girl took my hand and led me to the kitchen, asked sweetly for me to make her some breakfast, and simply started talking. every once in a while, a tear would fall, but that was it. she was trusting me, and she wanted me to know that.

"i know daddy's gone because of me." of course, i tried to interrupt, but she wouldn't let me. "i cost too much. there's food, and clothes, and school things. everything i had to have, daddy made sure i had. he never spent the money on his medicine. i was just getting ready for school one day, momma already at work, and i called for him. he didn't answer, and i...i knew."

she looked at me then, maybe trying to figure out what i was thinking, but i only beat the eggs into submission for her french toast. when i didn't say anything, she sighed. "i went to his room, and he was cold. he...lost his color. i called momma, and she didn't come. she told me to watch him, make him comfortable. she didn't understand that he wasn't there anymore."

that made me stop. i left the eggs to sit next to her, and her little hands found mine. "it wasn't your fault," i told her. "there was nothing you could do."

"i could have left," she whispered.

"no. no, their job was to take care of you. your father understood that. now it's our job, arty's and mine. we'll do it better."

mel nodded. "momma punished me a lot after that. she brought around men i didn't know, mean men, and they would...momma told me not to lie whenever i tried to tell her. she didn't believe that they would hurt me. then she started hurting me. i thought...i thought that, because she was my momma, i had to deal with it. i had to be okay. she was hurt. she wasn't right."

"mel..."

she moved from her stool to my lap in one quick movement. "i don't want that to be my life anymore. i want it all to go away. and i know how to do it."

"do you?" my hand stroke her hair on its own. "how's that?"

"my daddy died...he left months ago. momma stopped being my momma when it happened. i want...i need...can i call you and artemis daddy and momma?"

there was only one answer to this. any other man in my position would say the same thing, unless he was an asshole. "of course, mel. now come help me make your french toast.

i don't know why. something is bothering me.

a couple of hours ago. i'm just sitting outside mel's door. i can't seem to sleep. i keep thinking of the way mel looked after watching that news report. scared and alone...no child should be like that. mortals treat each other horribly...but i can't help but think there might be hope. arman loved athena before he knew what she was. ashley has changed her ways and become a friend to artemis. it doesn't make sense that these things can happen and everyone else simply be hopeless.

does it?

she's putting on a brave face for me, but her mother keeps showing up on television. the newscasters won't stop talking about what had happened to her. i was changing the channel before, but she stopped me this morning. she said that she needed to watch and try to understand.

when the newscast was over, she just crawled into my lap. she didn't say anything, didn't cry. she just snuggled down.

i managed to put mel to bed early so i can see if i can work out some of the sore muscles in arty's legs. athena already said that artemis pushed ahsley out of the way of tim's car. she left out that he ran over her legs. no damage, though. immortality has its benefits.

yeah. i decided to do the one thing i swore to artemis i would never do.

i'm going shopping with a girl.

i decided that mel could use the distraction. her entire face lit up when i suggested it, and so we're going to leave soon. i have five hundred dollars to spend on this little girl. when she found that out, she threw away all of her other clothes. i asked her why, and she told me that they were full of "bad memories."

she definitely needs this. i'm leaving now. bye.

every time i look at mel, i think of what she told me that night. i think about the way she cries when the lights are out. i think of what a cold-hearted bitch her mother is, and i want to do something about it. i want make the shadows disappear from her world. she's only a child. she doesn't deserve the life she used to have. she doesn't deserve to have it weighing her down.

melina's father died six months ago, from what i can gather. since then, mel's mother has been telling her that it was her fault, that raising her was too expensive for them to afford his medication, and that he would rather not listen to reason so she could have the clothes she wanted and the things she needed for school. lately, it's excelated. the bitch has been violent with mel. i saw a long scab on the girl's shoulder.

mel told me that she shouldn't be alive right now. that it is her fault that her father is dead. she said she doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore. i don't think i should leave her by herself, so i convinced arty to let me keep her from her day camp today. she's just staring at me now. i'm not sure what she's thinking. i'm going to go. i need to see if i can make her smile again. she hasn't smiled for a few days.

i don't understand what kind of person would say such things to her daughter...that bitch told mel that she killed her father. she told mel that it was because of her that they couldn't afford his medications. i....i can't comprehend...

mel was in tears when I picked her up today. (she's in bed right now, by the way) the woman in charge said that she started crying when they were teaching the kids about health and hygiene. i had to stand there and nod like an idiot, like i knew what the in the Underworld would cause it.  still, i thanked the chick and took mel into the car.

i pulled out, and we sat in the silence until she realized we passed the apartment.  "where are we going?"

"you need ice cream."

"i'm not allowed to have ice cream. i haven't been allowed to have ice cream since daddy died." she looked away. it was then i knew something was up, but i didn't comment. i wasn't about to make her talk about her feelings.

"you're allowed to have ice cream now. you're with me."

"but..."

i interrupted her with a look. "do you not want ice cream?"

"i would like ice cream," she whispered.

"then you're getting ice cream."

shit...i can hear her crying again. arty's asleep, though...i better go investigate.

she's an adorable little scamp. i managed to make up a bedroom for her while artemis was picking her up from her day camp, and the kid still hasn't stopped squealing about it. artemis keeps shooting me looks, but i didn't do anything. little twerp needs a place to sleep, right?

alexander seems to have decided that its his room, too. that's fine. he can stay there, as long as he stays out of my room. i don't want to have to deal with him.

better go. melina just informed me that dinner is ready. i hope that artemis didn't actually hand-cook the meal...that's never good.